Six

I started this last night but then we drove off into the dark night to look for the Aurora Borealis (yes we woke our 4 year old up at 10:30pm and kept her up until 1am hoping to see some lights in the sky) which we did not end up seeing.  Sadness....

Lately Elianna has been asking questions about Toree and how she died and why she died and on and on.  She often says how much she misses her sister and is quite vocal about the fact that she has a sister but she lives in Heaven.  It's almost humorous to watch peoples faces when she tells them that - they aren't quite sure what to say.  Personally, I love it, think it's cute and am so thankful we have the opportunity to tell her about her sister.

Tomorrow marks 6 year ago that Elianna's big sister went to live in Heaven.  Each year something new comes to my mind as I remember back to those days.  Today I have been thinking about my Chris.  Did you know he build Toree's casket?  Oh yes, before she was even born, he put in many long hard hours working on it.  A man in our church has a wood shop downstairs of his house and he helped Chris make the most beautiful casket for our little girls body to be buried in.  After he built it, the man and his wife so lovingly lined it with white fabric and even made a little pillow for her head to rest on.  Yes, I do realize none of this was necessary but it was Chris' way of grieving and because of that I am so grateful he had the opportunity to do this loving act.

I also remember the day he brought it home.  Mom and I were just recently talking about this.  She was there with me when he brought that tiny little wood casket home and set it in the middle of the living room floor and asked me to take it by the funeral home.  That was probably the longest most surreal drive.  

I'm sure every year I say the same thing - I can't believe it's been "x" amount of years (insert 6 this time).  But really, it's hard first of all to believe that we have a little one that is 6 years old.  Let alone the fact that she has been gone 6 years.  Time goes by so fast!

As we do every year, we went to PF Changs today for lunch.  PF Changs holds a special place in our heart (how weird was that sentence?).  The day we found out Toree was sick, we went there since none of us felt like cooking.  The day of her funeral we went there to eat.  And every year since then on her birthday we have gone there to eat.  It's our special Toree place!

I'm also thankful for sweet friends, like my friend Jeanne who went by and visited Toree the other day for her birthday, for my friend Karan who bought flowers and a balloon for our little one and for a friend here in CO who brought by a note this morning knowing that even though they did not know us at that time in our lives, it would mean something that they remembered.