For those of you who have read Berger Bites even for a short amount of time, know that our life is anything but normal. This includes Elianna's birth. So because I like to tell my abnormal stories, here you go.
I was scheduled to go up to the hospital Tuesday evening after 5 pm on September 1. This was told to me specifically by the nurse at the doctor's office. So after Chris got off work, we decided to eat my last meal before giving birth at . . . Taco Bell. Yeah, real classy. It was on the way. I just wanted food. And wanted to get this birthing thing under way. We then drove 45 minutes up to Cooper University Hospital in Camden. When we got to the hospital, no one knew I was supposed to be there. To add to the drama, at Cooper you have, oh I don't know - what seems like 15 residents come in and ask you questions. The same questions the other 14 residents asked you. When no one knows why you are there (besides to obviously give birth), the question of "So, why are you here?" got extremely annoying after the 14th time. But in their
defense they are only trying to learn - even if I have to explain the fact that I am here because my doctor wanted to induce me because the baby is big. "What does the baby being big have to do with you being induced?" (question by not-so-brilliant resident). "Umm...you're the 'doctor' here - you tell me" (answer given in lady-who-just-wants-to-get-this-on-with's head). However, I simply proceeded to explain to a 2nd year student the importance of not letting the baby grow out of control and me then having to be in labor etc etc with a large baby. "Oh ... that makes sense".
On with the story. After consulting with my doctor (and telling him that there was no room for me), they sent me home at 9 pm only to tell me I needed to be back by 6 am. So extremely early the next morning, I again ate a very classy last meal - this time Dunkin Donuts. Oh we are classy people I tell you.
Most of the day was spent watching my Chris sleep, answering the same questions from 15 new residents, and anticipating that first "Aaaahhh" moment. The moment finally came around 11:30 am and it was then that I ordered my wonderful epidural! Love that needle! Needless to say, the first one didn't work. After about an hour or so, the second one was given and pretty much worked although I did feel more than just the normal "pressure". From then on, it was the regular waiting game ... that and laying in insanely weird positions because Elianna's heart
rate would drop unless I was twisted into some weird configuration. To spare you the details, I'll fast forward to the part where I'm pushing and nothing is happening except that Elianna's heart rate continued to drop and never come back up to where it was supposed to. It was at that point that my doctor decided to perform an emergency c-section. I didn't know you could be prepped and ready for a c-section or any surgery so fast. So fast in fact, I heard Dr. Steinberg say he was starting and I began yelling "Where is Chris? My husband, where is he?" The nurse quickly ran and got him only to have him yell that he had forgotten the video camera and could someone please run out and grab it.
Elianna was pulled from her warm and cozy home at 6:44 pm with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck one time which explains the dropping of the heart rate and the inability to push her into the world. After she was born, they began working on me. Again, sparing details, some things had to be repaired. It was this really surreal moment when the doctor began asking where certain organs were and then in a panicky voice asked someone to run and get Dr. Fischer, my high risk doctor. Oh - side note: I asked Dr. Steinberg if he could do some liposuction while he was in there but sadly, he just laughed at me. After being under for about 2 hours, they found all my parts and then proceeded to stuff them back inside me just before quickly stapling me shut hoping that nothing would pop out before the staple gun went off.
Did I mention that during the course of the day I somehow managed to throw up my classy dinner from the night before as well as the equally classy breakfast. Yep - I got sick a total of 3 times. The last was on the operating table and the poor nurse had to suction it out because I was breathing it in. Lovely.
I always kinda rolled my eyes when people would say to me "You won't remember any of this (pregnancy and labor) after the baby is born." You know - they were right. I mean really just look at this little girl and tell me she wasn't worth it. Oh she was!
