5 Years

We have been so busy since the New Year that sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking of all the things that need done.  I missed putting up a post about my brother's birthday - Happy Birthday Eric!  I have conquered some of the Advent Calendar posts but still need to finish.  Yesterday Elianna had some sort of 24 hour flu bug which was no fun at all!  Needless to say, things have returned to "normal" after the holidays hype.

Today, however, I'm reminded of this day 5 years ago.  It is so hard to believe that this year we would be stressing about where to send Toree to kindergarten.  Facing having to do homework.  In kindergarten I liked my first boy, Randy, so the "boy thing" would be coming up.  Goodness!  It's funny that how even after 5 years, the details are so carefully etched into my mind.  Oh, sometimes I may not remember exactly how many pounds either of my girls were when they were born (thank goodness for previous posts I can go back and look at - please internet never permanently go down) but I can remember the little details of events on each of their birthdays.  

Today one specific memory sticks out in my mind for some reason.  After Toree died, some ladies from church brought over several dresses for me to pick for her to wear.  In the 6 weeks leading up to that moment, I had never once thought of picking out a dress for her to be buried in.  I was so glad someone else had.  But I wanted her to wear a hat.  Not just any hat but I wanted a white bonnet and in my minds eye I knew exactly how I wanted it to look.  Major problem.... it was the beginning of January.  No one was selling white bonnets.  My mom and I went to every store (it pretty much seemed like) but couldn't find a single white bonnet.  Finally we ended up at Babies R Us where the only white bonnets were ones sold with christening outfits for say $100.  All I need is the bonnet.  I remember walking the store twice - just in case I missed something.  After walking through, I stopped so disappointed and discouraged praying that God would help me.  At that moment, I happened to glance up and out of the corner of my eye, I saw something white.  There on top of those pillar things they have in Babies R Us, was a white bonnet exactly how I wanted it to look.  There was no price tag - nothing to indicate it was for sale.  I hadn't seen it before on my walk through.  It was like God had miraculously placed it there just for us.  I don't even remember how much the sales people ended up charging me for it but I remember thinking I didn't care.  God had granted a crazy desire of my heart.  

The irony of today is that while I'm sad in thinking about my little girl who I miss so much, I get to meet a new friend for coffee tonight.  Guess what her name is?  Yup, Torrey.  God must have knew I needed to sit down and talk to a Toree today.  God is good!